When you grow up in the country... we country folk make family a priority, well, at least we used too. My family still makes it one. Now that I no longer live within a few miles of them, I cherish all the memories our family has made over the years. Some of the fondest have come at the holidays. Thanksgiving. When I was young, Thanksgiving was reserved for decorating our home for Christmas. The tree would go up and we would work most of the day getting it just right. However, when it came to the lights, my mom and I would be lucky if we were still speaking afterward. Why do lights have to be so frustrating? Later that evening, we would make our way to my Granny and Pa's house for dinner with our extended family. It was one of the few times a year my Granny and her brother's families would get together. As our family grew larger and required more work for my Grandmother, a few of us would get up early and go help her with dinner. It got to the point that my Granny, momma, aunt, and I would each have our assigned roles. My Granny was the "ring leader", my aunt and I were the servants to my Granny, while my momma was the official dish washer. We did not mind the roles because those were the ones we were good at and that aligned with each our skill sets. While crazy and hectic, it was fun. The parades were always on in the background and I love cooking so much, I did not mind the work. Being a guy, this is not supposed to be my role on Thanksgiving, as most men are sequestered to the couch and watching football. For me, my favorite place to be was in the kitchen. I loved cooking for people, especially when my food was loved and enjoyed by my family. Helping my Granny, was more than cooking, it was learning from her and her passing down the recipes of our family to me (a new generation). Now that my Granny is older, Thanksgiving has changed and become more of a potluck, as our entire family chips in and helps out. Thanksgiving is not like it was. Sometimes I wish it would go back to the way it was. I know, I did not appreciate the entire experience then, but now, those memories I cherish so much. The laughter we shared when we would mess something up. One I remember, my aunt and I made what seemed like 30 pounds of mashed potatoes, it was a little obscene, there was so much leftover, it became the joke that year. Then, a few years back, my Granny gave us the task of peeling the sweet potatoes. There was a whole bag of them, probably 15. We did as we were told and peeled the sweet potatoes. My Granny had to go check when she came back to find all 15 peeled, all she could do was laugh. Her intention was for us to only peel the few that we needed which was like five. Needless to say, we had about three different sweet potato dishes that year. I am thankful that today, while I live by myself, starving is not one thing I will ever have to worry about experiencing. While I do not cook as much, I enjoy it just the same today as I did then. Many times, I try cook as my Granny would... with love, with laughter, and for the enjoyment, not the task of it all. No, it may not be the "country heritage" of most men of the south, but it is one that I love and cherish. Even if it has led to my larger than average waistline!!
SO... I made the mistake of trying to study this book in one evening. We were in a series of people from the Old Testament and their FAITH in the midst of a GREAT DILEMMA. What better lesson to learn in Middle and High School than from people in the BIBLE, who experienced overwhelming life experiences and yet when everything was gone; they kept their faith. However, when I tried to boil the book and experience of Nehemiah down to about 45 mins. I barely skimmed the surface.
How things work out. Nehemiah was becoming a prominent figure in the Persian Empire. He was a trusted man for King Artaxerxes. Who, by the way, was the STEPSON of Queen ESTHER (this is going to be important information). Nehemiah served as the King's cupbearer. SO? Well back then cupbearers were important individuals because they had to drink from the cup that would go to king so that nothing could be slipped to them that would kill them.
Nehemiah, one day received a bad report from his brother and other men, who were currently living in Judah. Jerusalem and Judah had been overthrown and destroyed by Babylonia, however, Babylonia was later taken by Persia. During the time of Ezra, two groups over 90 years had made their way back. The report said that the walls of the city were in ruins and there was little sign that the groups that had returned had done much to restore them. Nehemiah was troubled by this news. So much so that he spent many days in prayer and fasting. Part of Nehemiah's prayer was to recall God's own to His people, “Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name. (1:8-9)" Nehemiah, was not only praying for the people but also himself because on some level, I believed he knew he had a job to do.
Going into chapter 2, King Artaxerxes notices something is amiss about him. His mood was not right or as it always had been. This is how close Nehemiah was to the King. The King even knew that he was not sick which would have excused the look. They friends essentially. Yet, for Nehemiah this was the entrance he needed to share with the King what was troubling him. Though, this discussion between them would not stop there. The King wanted to know more about the plan and what Nehemiah wanted from him. Nehemiah laid it out before him. With the requests he had, the King granted them. Ah, the power of prayer.
Nehemiah returned to Judah to rebuild the city walls. Back then, city walls served as protection to the people who lived there. So for their survival, city walls were extremely important. This was not going to be easy work, Nehemiah knew that going in, but he did not rush the process. He took his time to survey the damage and the work that we was going to be up against, learned the condition of the people, and formulated a plan for the work.
He turned his attention to the other Jews, up until this point no one knew what his purpose of returning was. That was going to change though. Not only was their work to rebuild the city walls, but it was also for them (as God's people) to return to God. One could not be accomplished without the other. The Jews immediately began the work that Nehemiah laid out before them.
Work did not happen without hardship of the people or opposition from neighboring cities. Like Psalm 16:8, "The Lord is at my right hand and I will not be shaken". The people came back to God in their work to their city and to Him.
This book has been important to me since I started re-learning it when preparing for this lesson. For Nehemiah to accomplish what the Lord had called him to, it would not happen by his own human strength; it was going to take God. What we learn from Nehemiah is that throughout the entire process, he sought the Lord. Even in the most difficult situations we could ever face in this world, we ALWAYS have what it takes to overcome when we turn to the Lord.
Personally, I would like to tell you that I have mastered this and you can learn from me. SO NOT TRUE! I pray one day that is the case, right now though, I teach from the mistakes I have made. More times than not, I have gotten it wrong. I struggle with Pride. I have my entire life. Too many times, I have gotten hot-headed and believe that I can do everything on my own and do not God to assist. Unfortunately, this did not occur just once or twice. It also takes me a while to learn from my mistakes. Beginning my 29th year on this Earth, I am figuring that my strength does not withstand and crumbles fairly quickly when it gets beaten by life. I NEED God. I CANNOT do it without Him. I know, I have tried many times.
NOW. We are in a season of Lent. Maybe during this time of a fresh start, we all learn to lean on the BIG GOD we serve. For once believe that "if God is for us who can defeat us". Trust now, that if God calls us to it, he WILL (like He did for NEHEMIAH) lead us through it.
It all beginning one Sunday morning at Coffey's Chapel UM Church, when my cousin and I were trying to recount all the seven deadly sins. From that time on, I wondered where I was struggling. There were a two that specifically "hit me between the eyes". Laziness and Pride. (I will write about laziness later). For now you get PRIDE.
I am not happy that I am making the statement that I am a PROUD person. However I hate too, I must make that statement if I ever want to be true to myself. I am wondering now though, if even by writing about my struggle with pride, if this simple act makes me prideful. That is not my reason for writing though. I have an assumption that I am not the only person with this problem.
I like recognition. I like people telling the "good job" I do. I have worried about what people will say about me or even remember about when I am with my MAKER. You know it is easy in my head to say that these are things that everyone struggles with and...maybe so. However, I am beginning to realize something that about made me physically sick this morning...
You may not know that my upbringing was not easy. I have experiences that most people do not know about, lived through my parents divorce, raised in a single-parent household, and have lived more of life without my father's presence than with it. What I am realizing that I have been using these experiences to make me the martyr. Not to use them against other people around, but in my relationship with God. I have used them in a way of basically saying to God the reason I am this way is because of what has happened to me, I cannot change now this is just who I am.
All the while, message of this is NOT who I created you to be, never stuck with me. Until this morning that is. I realized that while those were events I have had to live through and endure. I cannot change how my story began but I can change how the story ends. The ME, the REAL ME, is not those events. Those events do not get to dictate who I am, WHOSE I am, what I can or cannot do, how I can or cannot change, or what I dream of or want out of life.
I found a book title that I think I may read: I Can't See God...Because I'm in the Way. That pretty much sums it up. For a lot of my life, I have been in the way. It is like a Solar Eclipse. It was me that was between me and God. I was getting a few rays but I was missing out on the so much more because I was wrapped up in me; being the martyr. I am foolish enough to think that I will change overnight but like all of life it is a journey. It is my prayer that I will one learn from God to put me into perspective, the one God created. I can no longer chose to let my experience be the end all of my life if not, I will be an aging man stuck in the mind and life of a teenager.
This is PART 2 of a series we are doing in the Youth Group that I help lead. Our plan for our Wednesday Night Discipleship is a discussion on Jesus, a closer look at the people around, the ministry of, and the man/God called Jesus.
In Part 2, we look at that the men around Jesus, the Disciples. Previously we discussed their call and who they really were. By looking at John's Gospel we learn that these men while ordinary were being prepared for something GREAT. John the Baptist's disciples who became Jesus'. This time, let's look at and really understand why these men could not keep silent. What was it about what they had experienced, learned, saw, heard, and discovered that moved them to risk their lives.
From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life. Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!” Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done. “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”
What we discover here in the Scripture from Matthew 16:21-28, is that Jesus instructs Peter to not seek to understand through just his humanity and that before he dies he will see the kingdom of God enlarged, established, and spreading to the ends of the earth.
1) Peter's humanity. I do not think that we are simply human. There is more going on than what we see, hear, touch, taste, smell and know. I think this is important to not only Peter but for us. We have too look deeper, understand more deeply, and be willing to go deeper in this life if we really want to find the answers to the questions that we have, seek what the meaning of this life is, and discover what it is to be God's creation (His handy work).
2) There is more going on than what meets the eye. That is why it is called faith. If it were simple there would not be anything to discover and really work for; we would simply skim the surface. God calls us deeper. This is the turning point, I believe, for the Disciples.
If there nothing more than what meets the eye, then what would it be for? However, Jesus takes Peter deeper. He tells him that he (Peter) would see the kingdom of God (the church) coming in his kingdom (enlarged, established, and spreading). It is like Jesus is affirming Peter and why he is pursuing them to go deeper. I think of it this way, "You go deeper with ME in this and I will allow you to see it continue (through your work) after I have gone".
SO? In the end, what happened? What Jesus told Peter in these verses came to fruition. They did see the church take off, thanks in part to their actions. However, this was not something simply accomplished. They witnessed Jesus arrested, beaten, and hung on a cross to die. At that, they had a cross-road moment. They had a choice of whether to take the message of Jesus further and risk facing the same fate OR choose to retreat and simply stay quit.
We know because of Scripture and we are here in our church today, they chose the former. They chose risking death for the message of Jesus and the hope that brings.
Why? What is the point? Why risk death of yourself and your family? What was so important?
Maybe they accepted Jesus' call to go deep and it changed them forever. It changed them so much there was no turning back, there was no going back to life as it were, death was something inevitable not be feared and not a form of punishment.
SO POWERFUL. Are we willing to give up life as the world knows it to follow God, our Father to the streets of Darfur to fight for freedom of genocide, cross the globe to snuff out human trafficking (the trade of humans for sex), or traveling to the opposite end of the state to fight for social justice and the end of poverty and hunger. This is exactly what the Apostles did, risked everything they knew to further the kingdom of God as it was laid out before them from Jesus.
Listen to the story of Jude, the brother of Jesus, in the chapter, "We Will Die with You" from Jesus Freaks (written by DC Talk): Jude, also known as Thaddaeus and Lebbaeus, wrote the book of Jude. He was also the younger brother of Jesus and James the Just. He traveled in Mesopotamia, Syria, Arabia, and Persia (present-day Iran), reaching as far as Edema. There, he preached boldly against worshiping idols and making heathen sacrifices. When the pagan priests saw that they were losing followers- and money- because of Jude's teaching, they attacked him with sticks and clubs, beating him to death. He died in 68 AD.
What do you think? You will hopefully never be executed for believing in Jesus like the first disciples were, but you can become just as sure of the truth of his resurrection, and understand why it mattered so deeply to these twelve men.
May we... grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. ~Ephesians 3:18-19
Have you ever thought about the first Jesus Freaks? This is a new study the Youth Group, I am leading is discussing. Actually the full picture is Jesus' Ministry leading up to Easter, however, we are studying these men, called "Disciples" who leave everybody and everything behind to follow this man Jesus.
We looked at John's Gospel in the first chapter beginning at verse 35 and continuing until verse 42:
The next day John was back at his post with two disciples, who were watching. He looked up, saw Jesus walking nearby, and said, "Here he is, God's Passover Lamb."
The two disciples heard him and went after Jesus. Jesus looked over his shoulder and said to them, "What are you after?" They said, "Rabbi" (which means "Teacher"), "where are you staying?"
He replied, "Come along and see for yourself."
They came, saw where he was living, and ended up staying with him for the day. It was late afternoon when this happened.
Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, was one of the two who heard John's witness and followed Jesus. The first thing he did after finding where Jesus lived was find his own brother, Simon, telling him, "We've found the Messiah" (that is, "Christ"). He immediately led him to Jesus.
Jesus took one look up and said, "You're John's son, Simon? From now on your name is Cephas" (or Peter, which means "Rock").
There were a couple of things here that struck and that I brought out to the Youth. First, these were John's Disciples. This was a new discovery and this is coming from someone who graduated Seminary. It took me 29 years to realize this fact. What it made me realize is that these were everyday men. But they KNEW Jesus. They had been learning from the one who was preparing the way of the LORD, John the Baptist. For some time, they had heard about this Man, who was coming to save the world. Them seeing him walking by had to be the biggest days of their lives, it would be like seeing Justin Bieber or Jacob/Edward from Eclipse walking down the street. How awesome this would of had to be for Andrew and John.
Second, and really important is what happened in verse 41. "The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him". This was such a meeting that Andrew could not keep it in, he had to tell someone! That is God's work. When you catch the Spirit of Jesus, it is like a consuming fire that cannot be maintained. It is like that day that when accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, there is so much passion, so much eagerness to go out and save the world. However, what happens after about 2 weeks, you realize the dog is just not going to make the decision and you give trying to change the world, so you settle trying to save your brother. That passion you had, is now lost and you kind of accept that as life. But you know, that does not have to be the case. If we want that passion and if we want to feel that passion, all we have to do is just ask. Yes, life may get us down but it does not have to hold us there! Here is hope and there is passion! Let's tap into it, NOW!
I finished the discussion with a reading from the book, "Jesus Freaks". This reading is about the Apostle Andrew, the brother of Simon.
Andrew is sentenced to death by the governor of Rome saying, "This man is starting a new sect and taking away the religion of Roman gods. I hereby sentence him to death by crucifixion." Later on the cross, as long as he could move his tongue, he instructed all who stood nearby, encouraging them, "Remain steadfast in the word and doctrine which you have received, instructing one another, that you may dwell with God in eternity, and receive the fruit of His promises."
After three days, the Christians asked the governor to take Andrew down from the cross and release him to them. But Andrew, hearing their plans, cried out, " O Lord Jesus Christ! Don't let Your servant, who hangs here on the cross for your name's sake, be released to dwell again among them! Please receive me, O my Lord, my God! You I have known, You I have loved, to You I cling, You I desire to see, and in You I am what I am."
Having spoken these words, he committed his spirit into the hands of his heavenly Father.
These were not just ordinary men. These were Godly men who followed Jesus even to the cross.
My father, not my dad. He no longer qualifies as a dad. That sucks... really. I have been over and over it in head for years (if my math is serving me correctly it is now 15). Just over 15 years ago, I had my last true conversation with him. Now when he does not cower and run the other direction, our conversation would not resemble anything more than two strangers conversing. Obviously, it still hurts. I wish I knew when it would stop, though my mind tells me that it won't. I would love to know why it ended now I can only assume. He just quit calling me. Our relationship up until that point, was me calling him to ask if I could stay the weekend with him and my step-mother. One day when I grew tired of calling, I quit. He called one time to make plans and then never followed through with them. That it is or was it because I never heard from him again.
I do not know any child could get over this. I mean this was a parent, the man who gave half of himself to me. Now I am no more than a stranger. How does someone do that to their son. I ask any MAN, or anyone who would call themselves a man, a man is one who takes cares of their kid, no matter the circumstances. I do not care how hard it gets. The decision to have a child or at least to have sex, is not something you can reverse. Whether you asked for it or not, or whether you were ready for this outcome or not is irrelevant. You have a child and that, MAN, makes you a father. End of story. Now for the rest of your life, one duty you will always have is to take care of that child.
Do you realize how important this role is? A FATHER. There is a long list of duties that come with this role. OH and BTW, if you have chosen to enter into a relationship where children are present and you now can be known as a Step-Father, then this applies to you as well!
Teaching your child what it means to be a man or woman. They are learning from you what their role in society is and what is expected of them. They are looking to 24 hours a day, even if they are your daughter you are still instilling in them what it means to be a Father and what the man they marry will be to their children.
How to play catch and any other sport. This is your role whether or not you can play sports. Learn. It is that easy. If this is not something you are good at, do it anyway. If your child is not interested in sports, then learn what is their passion and get interested in it. They have to know you are proud of them. If you have to learn to be interested then do it, pull out all stops, your child deserves it... I promise you! If you care about what they do, it shows them that you care about them.
How to love. You are all the time teaching your children lessons on life. Being in love with your partner is one such lesson. You are showing them what it means, what it looks like, and what role each person plays. But this also extends to them as well. How you LOVE them is so critical and how you show them you love them. Remember, you cannot buy someone's love.
Being their for them when they scrap their knee or make a wrong decision. This gets back to the whole love lesson. You and them WILL make mistakes. It happens, that is why it is called life. Tell them and show them that just because life gets them down, you have to get right back up and keep going. You cannot live in or be afraid of failure. Life is lived in how we react to failure. Instill in them HOPE for tomorrow.
Taking care of themselves. You are teaching them the right choices to make when it comes to food, brushing their teeth, washing themselves, how to handle stress, and how to have fun. The latter seems insignificant, but is so important to them. You cannot be a worker all the time. Show them how to laugh and have fun. Life does not have to be so uptight all the time.
What it means to be a parent, being their HERO, being their DAD (you earn this title). You need to be people that they want to be when they grow older. Regardless of all the other roles you have in life, this is going to be your MOST IMPORTANT. That's it.
As a man, I sit here, wishing and hoping that I will not be like my Father. I do not want to do to my children what he has done to me. It is not right. I know I am not the only in this boat or have experienced the worst pain from their parent. My story is just it, my story.
It is my prayer in this this crazy life that, MEN you become NOT just Fathers but you become DADS. Each day work hard to retain that title too.
It is time for something new! This blog is it. I want to share me. I think that is a large part of why I love working with Youth. It is not that I think too highly of myself, but I am earnestly seeking what God has called me to be in this life. I get it wrong more times than I get it right but praise the Lord for His grace and His strength that allows me to make it through. May you be blessed by the words God shares through me. Enjoy y'all!!
